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Halloween

Halloween and Nightmares

Tomorrow evening is Halloween, but I live in Australia so most people don’t give a damn about it. Even one of my students today called it ‘a load of Americanised crap to sell lollies’ (which I thought was pretty awesome for a 16 year old!) But Halloween it is and we have that bizarre incongruity […]

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“Daddy, what does tie dye mean?”

Haha! RatGirl asked me this when I finished work today so I thought, what the hell, I’ll show them! It seemed like the perfect time to destroy some clothes; the Missus is away, my mother-in-law isn’t here and so there was no-one to tell me not to do it! Unlike a lot of my random, hair-brained […]

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Happy Birthday to Me! (sort of!)

The last few weeks have been hectic; all kinds of hectic! And it turns out I’ve missed a few milestones. Dadrites clocked over 500 ‘likes’ on Facebook and I missed it’s first birthday! Poor neglected baby! Still, not as bad as RatGirl’s first birthday when I took part in Movember so all the photographs make […]

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Where is Duck Duck?

  Stop the press! Duck Duck is missing! Actually, he’s been missing for over three weeks but it’s taken this pathetic father that long to realise just how much of a big deal it is! So whatever you’re doing, stop doing it and pay attention! Duck Duck is Missing! The kids have plenty of soft […]

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Cool sh*t to do with kids # 8 – Obstacle Course

This has got to be one of the kids’ most favourite of games. We have very minimal play equipment in our backyard but we make the most of it. The kids have a trampoline, an old plastic climbing castle that doesn’t fit together anymore and a swing set without the swings. What we do have […]

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Sh*t My Kids Say # 43 – Regarding Music & YouTube

Lately we’ve been trying to find some decent music videos for the kids but ones that don’t feature weird looking Gummy Bears or giant purple dinosaurs. For the longest time RatBoy has been singing a tune and we had absolutely no idea what it was or what he was trying to say when he asked […]

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The Bloody Cat!

So I was absolutely certain I put both cats outside earlier but I just went to kiss the kids goodnight on my way to bed and there’s a cat in RatGirl’s bed! And no RatGirl! On closer inspection (standing on her) she was asleep on the floor! This has NEVER happened before. And of course […]

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Breaking the Man-Seal

Breaking the Seal verb gerund or present participle: breaking Old English brecan (verb), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch breken and German brechen meaning to finally urinate after having too much ale and then needing to pee every 5 minutes thereafter. (Benny had 5 pints without a toilet break but as soon as he broke the seal he was more frequent than an […]

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My First Night as a FIFO Wife!

Okay, it isn’t quite as dramatic as all that. The Missus is away for the next three weeks playing with people’s brains in the city. We’ll only see her each Saturday night but there’s nothing like a click-bait title is there! It could’ve been, ‘The Missus has Left Me and the Kids! We Don’t Know […]

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Sh*t Dad Says!

Welcome to the ambiguously titled Shit Dad Says. I’ll leave it up to you where you want to pause in that sentence. Is this a section about the shit things a dad says or the things a shit dad says? You decide (but this will probably sway you one way or the other) I’d had […]

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