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toilet paper jesus

Sh*t My Kids’ Say # 49 – Jesus

  We try not to blaspheme in our house. It isn’t really through a sense of duty or piety but more an ingrained sense of tradition and the fact that we swear enough as it is anyway; best not to piss off the gods, right?! Just in case! The kids have been known to drop the […]

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what did you do at school

What did you do at school today?

Ah, the moment you realise you’re turning into your own parents. This question, what a cracker. I remember my Mam asking me as we sat down for dinner. I’d invariably grunt something along the lines of ‘nothing’ which would of course be met with a laugh and some sarcastic comment. Actually, now that I really […]

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State Finals

My Daughter Made the State Finals!

My daughter got to state finals! STATE FREAKING FINALS! Woohoo! I never got to state finals for anything. About the closest I ever got to success in school was for picking my own ticket out of a raffle. It was a beautiful moment, forever etched in my memory, the disbelieving faces of my peers and […]

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dad tired

Sh*t Dad Does – when he’s tired

I knew today wasn’t going to go according to plan when I realised at 6am that we had no coffee. I can liken the pain of that discovery to only one other time in my life. This was when, after a very hard week at work, I cobbled together enough coins for a bottle of […]

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duckduck

Duck Duck is Home!

Regular readers and friends will be familiar with the ongoing saga of Duck Duck. For those not in the know, here’s a quick recap. When RatGirl was very young, the son of a good friend of ours gave her a blue plush dog. It became forever known as Blue Puppy. Then, when RatBoy was born, […]

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DuckDuck

The (ongoing) Adventures of Duck Duck

This is an extract from a post I wrote in November called The Kindness of People, We lost ‘Duck Duck’ on holiday. RatBoy was heartbroken! I called every place we stayed and sadly no-one could find Duck Duck, but you know what? They looked! They didn’t have to, but they looked. And then, when I called […]

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Pride square

Pride Goeth Before Destruction!

“Pride goeth before destruction!” That’s biblically accurate. It isn’t, ‘comes before a fall’ like most people think. If you don’t believe me go to the source material… The Simpsons. Season 4. Episode 3. Homer the Heretic. I’ll wait. This photograph was taken by my lovely wife. She posted it on Facebook a few hours ago and […]

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being a grown up sucks

10 Reasons Why Being a Grown-Up Sucks!

I’ve spent a substantial amount of my life wishing I was older and now I understand just how ridiculous that was! I look at my kids and realise that they have far more wisdom in their tiny bodies, growing brains and big hearts than I’ve ever had. I asked my daughter what her favourite thing was and […]

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Lovely Kids

Lovely Sh*t My Kids Do # 1

I whinge too much. There, I said it. Non-Australian readers might not be familiar with the term, a whinging Pom, but the Aussies certainly will be. It seems I’m playing up to the stereotype. A lot of my posts lately have taken on a Peter Griffin, ‘You Know What Really Grinds My Gears’ style, and […]

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FIFA16

FIFA 16 Women’s Teams. Little boys lose their minds.

The new FIFA football game, FIFA 16, includes 12 International Women’s Teams and it appears little boys all over the internet have lost their tiny minds. I have a Twitter account. I really only use it to stalk celebrities I admire and pester my favourite authors for writing advice but occasionally I tune in to […]

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